Loving-Kindness- "Loving-Kindness can be expressed in our thoughts, prayers, and advice or through physical assistance and generosity that connect heart-to-heart" (Dacher, 2006).
This week's exercise (The Loving-Kindness exercise) really didn't seem to impress or leave a positive effect upon me. It didn't even bring calmness or ease. Of all exercises, isn't this the best one to have no real reaction. ;) I was able to think of three specific people I have affectionate, tender feelings toward, as well as the feeling of loving-kindness. However, regardless how much love I feel for them during the day and night, I couldn't tune into those feelings during this exercise. I had just gotten out of bed when I began the exercise, so all of my body was aching as I tried to let go of all other grasping and tension. Perhaps, that was why I couldn't tune in, because I trying to move past all the aching of my body instead of focusing my feelings and attention to 'feelings' of love and tenderness.
I also had a difficult time understanding the truthfulness of the instruction. For example, how does one shift all their love and tender feelings to their subtle mind? I haven't even come to throroughly understanding the subtle mind, so how do I express care, tenderness, and loving-kindness to it? Regardless, I am sure it served its purpose for many others. But based off my experience with the exercise, I would naturally suggest one of the other exercises we've done before recommending this one.
Our Mental Workout-
Just as one trains physically each day to have optimal physical health, one must train their mind each day to develop their psychospiritual life and access its capacities and resources. Elliot Dacher suggests one hour a day (2006). Just as practice is put in, results will be apparent. Just the same...when the workouts cease, one will notice a dropoff in their conditioning. Therefore, perseverance is necessary. So how do we implement these mental workouts so that we may benefit from them and develop our psychospiritual life and flourish?
Just as we might set aside an hour a day to exercise at the gym, set aside some time each day to implement these mental workouts. It may be hard to try to fit in an hour for the gym let alone ANOTHER hour for mental workouts every day, (that's what my thoughts ride to) so try setting aside small intervals throughout the day for small mental workouts that will add up to an hour by the end of the day. Good luck everyone!
I agree that I thought this was the least beneficial of the relaxation exercises we have tried. I found it difficult to truly visualize what was being asked of us to do. I felt like there was to much time between the instructions and instead my mind started wandering. Hopefully the next exercise will be more beneficial!
ReplyDeleteHi Tara,
ReplyDeleteThis was a difficult exercise for me too. I have learned though that sometimes the things we find difficult to do are the very things we need to do to heal ourselves so maybe with a little (ok, a lot, lol!) practice we can both get better at this exercise. I understand the benefits of practicing loving kindness so perseverance here is the story! I hope you get a chance to try it again. I think you asked a very good question in your post: 'how can I express loving kindness to my subtle mind when I don't even fully understand it?'. I would like to see what Dr. Stewart's comment would be (even more so, I would like to hear what Dacher would say about this, as I think it is a great question!).
Enjoy your days! :)
Tara,
ReplyDeleteI also found this to be a hard exercise, my mind kept wandering. I did not like all of the pauses in between the talking, and the voice was kind of annoying. I also was not sure what was meant by expressing loving kindness to the subtle mind! Hopefully the next one will be more enjoyable!
Tara,
ReplyDeleteI will have to agree with you that on this exercise. It was a bit difficult to grasp or wrap my mind around might be a better way of putting it. I did find myself having trouble relaxing at the beginning of the exercise. I think that it would be a positive experience to express loving kindness to everyone. However, as far as the exercise goes I would have to say that I wouldn't recommend this one to my friends. Some of the other exerices I have benefitted from better and enjoyed much more.
Sorry you had a hard time getting through the loving-kindness exercise. I would suggest that you try it again, but try not to attach a negative feeling toward it before you listen. I enjoyed it because it helped me feel love that I haven't allowed myself to feel in a long time.
ReplyDeleteGood luck to you too on finding time for mental workouts. I am excited for trying to tame my busy mind. I am in much need of a simplified life, and I will start with my thoughts, feelings, and actions.
Have a fabulous day,
Cami